Allahu Akbar

HA, IM SO BROKE I ATE THIS LIKE A DELICACY YESTERDAY.
mac noodles, spices, seasonings, crackers, can of generic regular tuna (no albacore here baby!), can of veggies, a touch or ranch dressing and GET BUSY!

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Finals are over. Work is almost over for 2 of three jobs (Inshallah- for good). I never explained why the mutliple jobs all of a sudden.

well my employer decided NOT to pay me virtrually anything last pay and we only get paid once a month. i was to be leaving to start another opportunity and prepare for my finals and final papers. I was told that’s fine but if you do you wont get your money owed from last month for one year after the date of your last installed sale (13 months). gets worst, since they know and i know that then even if i could work a month for free (since im straight commission) that i wouldn’t generate much if any new business, since that would all be forfeited after i leave. so i was told that school was a conflict of their interst both now and in the future IF I ELECTED TO STAY, YEAH RIGHT, $278 for an entire month did not allow me enough money to even get gas or food. (THANKS HAN-I-FAH – I LOVE YA!) so i was told if i am late, dont sell anything or take more than 30 mins to and fro school im terminated thereby relieving them of the responsibility of even paying me a portion of what they owe me going all the way back to SEPT 6th. I consulted an employment attorney and prepaid legal, but i do not have enough to retain an attorney nor do i have enough to leave without at least a portion of what is owed from two plus months ago, SO I HAD TO GET A PART TIME JOB JUST TO PAY TO GO TO THE JOB I WORK FOR FREE UNTIL I GET SOME SCRAPS OF WHAT IM OWED.

But I have gratitude. at least i have the possibility that i may get a paycheck and even that someone would take me on part-time for a few weeks at the end of their campaign and be pleased with my work even though im very tired and frustrated by that point in the day!

Well I make dua that I am able to humble myself to make it til payday without being terminated or “self-terminating” (same thing in this case just different verbage), Inshallah.

On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns.

I am content with whatever Allah (SWT) measures out for me in his Qadar and all-emcompassing plan!  Ameen.

My family is almost back home for GOOD! (I make dua that Im able to get my baby a lil bed- but if not “WELCOME TO MOMMY AND DADDY’S BEAST BED RAMLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” me and mommy sleepy ON FLOOR, RIGHT HANIFAH?). Self-Improvement class is over and follow-up! Wow. I might actually have time to start working out and studying arabic/Islam besides mostly academic again (Go figure!)

Well I got a couple of weeks to get focused on my new agenda and implementing my new plans for the year. Classes at both John Carroll and the Ecumenical program are going to be challenging, as well as (Inshallah varoius classes@ two masjids!) Also Im as big as a house. I need to work out and eat better and stop being impacted by several nafs!

Im a little relieved.

I still have some serious obstacles, but Im eating my elephant one bite at a time and moving foward and I am proud.

I hadn’t applied myself to studies in nearly twenty years (actually i NEVER did like this, I didn’t miss a class after late enrollment-long story) and I feel good about my efforts.

BUT after a great performance during my day final, I guess lack of rest, stress, not eating, stress, worry (did I mention stress) caught up to me.

I don’t have anything physically wrong, IE. a cold, etc, but I’ve been having migraines and before my test, even after I knew I aced it and got my final term paper grade of 95% (u GO boy and it was titled “ummatan wahida” Ill shoot u a little snippet- DONT PLAGUERIZE ME. I BITE!) the headache got worst and i threw up several times.

that caused me to kinda have to minimize my efforts on final 2, but Inshallah I succeeded in doing MY BEST. That is all I can ever hope to do!

Well, im gonna take a breather. Next semester and year are starting a whole new phase and its gonna be HUMBLING. we call it PRE-ANNHILATION MODE (no, I’m not sufi, I swear, uh I mean I give u my word!)

PEACE.

Diq

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~ by siddiq khalifah on December 18, 2008.

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