Reasonable Doubt- Jay-Z


Never, I repeat, NEVER have a romantic or sexual relationship outside of marriage, EVEN if you plan on marriage.  It took me every bit of 39 years to finally have a completely permissible relationship with no sex before marriage and THANK GOD!


I have prayed long and hard

I have thought long and hard

I have researched long and hard


And I have come to some conclusions and realities.

These conclusions and realities are not completely unique to me and my situation. Actually they are observations about humanity and it’s nature, myself included (as objectively as one can be in self-evaluation).

One can have all the good intentions in the world, but that doesn’t change the reality of other people and situations.

And people can use this nature against one, even nice people (especially nice people because you want to believe them and believe in them).

Regardless and I’m gonna stop from here.

In a court of law or in this case a non-emotion based tribunal overseen by ME, I DO NOT BELIEVE THERE EVER WAS A CHILD. PERIOD.  I do sympathize with this person’s obvious need for attention and love and hope they find that missing peace they desire, but I hope they realize that it cannot be fulfilled in this manner.

I had my doubts due to the timing of the announcement, mannerisms, etc.  I had further doubts when I the so-called miscarriage happened, yet I could not come to the hospital and the fetus was supposedly lost, only to later have been given to the mother who misplaced or destroyed it, etc.  No need for further example.  When I first told my dad, my wife and my mother-in-law that the baby had been lost, they all said they thought it must have been aborted or never existed, but I gave the person the benefit of the doubt. Huh?

My dad continually said he thought I was being manuipulated. But I didn’t “hear” his reservations.

Dads are smart.

I hope I one day I become a smart one!

I learned from previous relationships, people tell lies.  Some are quickly discovered, some are bigger and more drawn out and take time to play out and some deal with the whole nature of the relationship and the permanence of it. 

But here is a reality when you lie for whatever reason there will eventually be a result of the cover-up to the lie.

one lies about being pregnant…one has to make up elaborate stories

one lies about…

you know what I’m gonna stop with the examples, cuz I know where I going with this.

I like the good in all human beings, but i DETEST liars and lying, especially involving children and accountability of parenthood.

There are so many dead beat dads, by choice and so many children who do not have fathers who WANT to be part of their lives and accountable.

They are at a severe disadvantage.

Funny thing is everything in the dark will soon come to the light!


Hey we will be resuming occasion blog mode, i simply don’t have time for this amount of posts. I got a real familiy and real bills and real school and real work and real responsibilities and THREE REAL BABIES (yes Muhammad you are the leader- you’re the BOY. HA!) and my real wife kinda implied it would be preferable for me to cease and desist- she just won’t say it direct, huh?) HA!

I harbor no ill feelings towards the individual who felt the need to orchestrate this and will continue to make dua (pray) for all parties involved and hope that they find peace.


If your just finding this, go look @ old post on this blog and thebeastblog.


I can see already that this day statistically will surpass ANY past (and maye future) blog visit day I’ve ever had.  More of you have visited this blog this morning than usually do in a week or more!


~ by siddiq khalifah on November 6, 2008.

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