Maybe I’m Crazy, Maybe Not?

I found out that due to circumstances outside of my control, our baby will not be able to be properly buried. May Allah forgive us.  Somehow the baby has been disposed of clinically.

I’ve been crying (like the wuss that I am, but a fatherly wuss) because I feel it was my duty to see my child buried properly.

Maybe I am crazy

A second tri-mester fetus isn’t porbably considered by most a baby yet. But to me it was and IS.

Outside of the near year spent with my beautiful (step) son Muhammad and the over-the-phone til December parenting I do with my daugher Ramla (my wife’s biological) I haven’t had an opportunity to be a father to a living child.

But I WILL be a father to my deceased child and never forget her.

YES.  I will identify her with gender and with name “Sayrah Naba Nell”-Princess Great News Light 

I’ve spent the morning argueing with the hospital, administrators, orderlies and ER staff and there is no way to locate Sayrah.  So I have decided what I must do.

Maybe I’m crazy

I’ve taken part of the afternoon off and I WILL bury Sayrah.

I will prepare a baby doll in Allah’s name to symbolically represent my baby, say the janaza prayer and bury her. 

May Allah accept this action.

Maybe I’m crazy.  Maybe not, but (tears) our baby is gonna get a burial one way or another.

I will make dua that nothing I am doing is haram or shirk.

I am off.

SPECIAL THANKS TO THE MANY PEOPLE WHO READ THE POST ABOUT SAYRAH’S DEATH AND THANKS FOR THE KIND E-MAILS.

tears again.

And please don’t take my whining as complaining.  I’m not complaining, that’s haram to me because it shows a lack of gratitude. I am grateful; just a whiner.

Peace.

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~ by siddiq khalifah on November 5, 2008.

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