Hey Guys, Thanks Again for the busiest day EVER on EITHER blog

I just got home and due t recent transportation changes, I was able to make the last two prayers of the day in the mosque !

It was a challenging day, but your emails and visits were GREATLY APPRECIATED, you made this the most active day ever on this blog and all I did was post what we were going thru.

Again, I’ll post some of you emails as comments unless they seem personal t you, as time permits.

I’ve got some prayer, school studying and personal studying to do and then I’m going to rest.  I haven’t blogged this much in nearly 4 mos, but I had something to say.

Real quick.

Two things happened today I must mention.

On my way home earlier (you know when I was going to bury a baby-actually that feels really kinda stupid now, but it wouldn’t be the first time I acted out an emotional decision) and at a light I felt a decent bump.  I just got my used hoopty and I’m thinmking the trans is slipping or the engines going to lock up.  Then I look behind me and see a big white van driven by a big black brother and…

I heard “DAMN”  (one hard one, like the first “Damn” in Florida Evans “Damn, Damn, Damn”)

I got out the card and instinticively, almost like a precision machine I was about to transform into BEAST MODE (like flipmode squad), when it hit me that

1.  there didn’t seem to be any measurable damage at all

2.  it’s a used car, not perfect any way

3.  it was a mistake

4.  what if it was you on the other end

5.  just two days ago, you didn’t even have a car, HAVE SOME GRATITUDE, MORON

6.  there a far more important things to be concerned with, ie. Allah and your family living and in paradise

Then at the supermarket, as I got into the car to leave, there she was.

There was the little girl I’d give the doll to walking with two adult females.

I simply grabbed the doll and asked if it was alright to let the little girl have it (no explanation- in a dark parking lot)

As I got closer (and this is coming from a man who in his early Nation of Islam training would have called this acting “SPOOKY”) But…

The little girl LOOKED IDENTICAL TO THE DOLL, IDENTICAL, as soon as I saw her I said it allowed and looked into her little eyes and for ONE second I felt like I interacted with my deceased child’s spirit.

SO I AM A LITTLE SPOOKY NOW and though I’m not Sufi (nor do I intend on ever studying that as religion), I do identify with MANY of there concepts of mysticism now.

The little girls glowed with happiness and truely made my day.  Her adult caretakers were nearly as grateful, as though I gave them something of great material value, but I think they recieved more than that, as I did.

Allahu Akbar

When I mediatated (no, I’m not Sufi I “swear”) I founded peace with the fact that since all children go directly to  paradise, then something physicaly created from my loins in God’s Will is now with Him.

Allahu Akbar

Well I’ve made my peace and will continue to make dua (prayer) concerning this and all other family situations, but it is time to move on and let this rest.




~ by siddiq khalifah on November 5, 2008.

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