Terrible News

YOU MITE WANNA CHECK ON THE BEAST!!!

http://siddiqkhalifahbeastblog.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=651

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yesterday i fixed my bike computer and calibrated it to 27 inch wheels, something that was never done correctly. so now i know my TRUE speed.

sorry about YOUR luck.

actually im much faster than a moped EVEN with my vest. WITHOUT IT on flat land I CAN BREAK THE SPEED LIMIT, not skewl zone you moron, everything except highway speed. PERIOD.

I’D BEAT THE BRAKES OFF THESE GUYS

i average 25-30 MPH flat land. that’s MILES simpletons, whole freakin miles.

give me the slightest downward incline, i mean a centimeter or two and i can average 35-40. YES that’s no exaggeration. THAT’S KRAZY.

again…

me and mike bike VS

YOU AND A FREAKIN SPACESHIP.

game over.

ET PHONE HOME, cuz u certainly aint gonna beat ME 2 em.

and my newfound lung capacity is sick, just plain, hope u took ur spaceship in 4 a tuneup before u try this risky endeavor- SICK.

AND WHAT’S EVEN SICKER?

i honetsly think YOU facing me and my bike in a spaceship is RISKY (there is no guarantee of success).

THAT’S PITIFUL. Simply pitiful.

28 days 2 go.

if im already in nearly the best shape of my life and i can outpoint u and a spaceship on an old, antiquated, touring bike, imagine the FUTURE. I want a TRUE road, racing, hybrid or fixed gear trainer, but 4 now MY BIKE is like something ur grandad would ride on. Except i ride it 10 TIMES FASTER THAN YOUR GRANDAD’S mind can even process light.

THAT

IS

ABSOLUTELY

SICK.

o what did i do. im lazy i cruised. light day

morning resistance

40 miles total bike (VESTED)

4 mile run (VESTED)

yup. im really slackin, now ask yourself, what did u do?

I know. no, really…

u, ur 4 chins and 3 stomachs probably talked mess about me and my blogs and humor and how bad a muslim and a person and a runner and a worker I am, over lotsa donuts and pastries. u probably talked about the election, the olympics and some stupid news story or reality tv show like u r some sort of expert, as u absorbed more calories than michael phelps (he eats 12000 a day, yeah 12K. he also burns a little too, you? YEAH RIGHT) u problably said to urself I can do that, he’s nothing special, BIG DEAL. hey lil engine that CANT. THERE ISNT A CHANCE IN H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS, not if you prepared for months, got hypnotized, got a guru, found religion, bought me as a personal trainer and had lance armstrong’s DNA injected into your pathetic “WAY-BEFORE PICTURE” ( u know, before and after? u are the before the before) lookin body.

SAD isnt it.

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~ by siddiq khalifah on August 20, 2008.

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